Raptor

Last night at 3 AM was amazing! I realized how much smarter our child is than us. See, I am learning when she is just being a goof and doesn’t really need me and when she really does by the sounds she makes. My sleeping has become deeper and my brain is ignoring the non urgent fussing and she is not really much of a crier. You really have to piss her off to get her to cry anymore. She will make super cute noises and subtle moans & groans instead.

Well, apparently “my brain” messed up! Everyone was sleeping so peacefully when we were awoken by a BAM BAM BAM! I struggled to open my eyes, but when I did lo and behold, what I saw was this tiny human taking one leg, lifting it straight in the air and SLAMMING her heel down on her play-yard insert! (you know the thing you hook into it to bring them up higher before they are old enough to fling themselves out?)

She then had the nerve to stop and smile at me (kinda an eery smile) once she seen me looking at her. My poor husband had no flipping clue as to what was happening and was startled. I told him it was okay, told her to stop, and we closed our eyes.

BAM BAM BAM!

Oh for Pete’s sake, come on Pie! Please stop!

She smiles at me…

Husband says, “You have to make her stop that.” I said, ” Really?! What do you suppose I do to make a 5 month old stop banging her foot on her bed?!” He didn’t have an answer haha. So, I looked at the clock and realized it was time for milky and a diaper change. I went into the kitchen for a few minutes and heard BAM BAM BAM!

Then I heard,”PIPER you have to stop!”

Then, BAM BAM BAM!

Then, “PIPER!”

Now at this point I am laughing hysterically in the kitchen and trying as hard as I can to not piss my pants. I peak in the bedroom and see a grown ass man laying across the bed, half-uncovered, reaching into the pack n’ play and trying to give her a paci (he is a great father). I am DYING laughing now. It was beautiful to see him up at 3 AM having to hear BAM BAM BAM.

I hurried up so daddy could go back to sleep since the poor man had to get up so early. I put her on the bed she was all giggles. She never cried once. Her smile melts your heart and you can’t help but instantly forgive her. Daddy gave her a smooch and then she chowed down. As I laid her back down after milky, she rolled on her side and went peacefully back to sleep.

I then realized she was just like a Velociraptor. I mean, I had my suspicions before from the sounds she would make at night but, seriously Jurassic World was replaying in my head. You know that part when they were training them and showcasing their intense level of intelligence? Please tell me how a 5 month old baby has figured out that if mom and dad sleep through her little noises, then she will stop making them & bang her heel as hard as she can into her bed? You know she knows damn well that she is the BOSS by the pride strewn across her face when she seen that it worked like magic.

All I know is that I hope the next thing I wake up to is not the scratching of a finger nail (or claw) running down my arm or face and then the image of my baby raptor grinning at me in the middle of the night hahahaha.

Please pray for us.

Love,

Jelly

P.S. Find humor in your exhaustion parents, one day you will miss this. It goes by to fast.

 

copyright

© Jessica Collins alias Jelly Nicole and jellynicole.com 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jessica Collins alias Jelly Nicole and jellynicole.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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