My Baby Ruined My Body 

    Looking in the mirror I see a big blob of fat hanging down like a cat’s fatbag that jiggles under it when it walks around. 

    My “fatbag” is 5 months old and looks like a circuit board has been drawn all over it (hence stretch marks) I tried to stop them with expensive creams too; here’s a secret it doesn’t work. It’s genetic. 

    I had thoughts of it being disgusting & my worst fear was that my belly button was going to look like a cats asshole. I wanted to hide it from my husband for fear he will want to puke (I should know he would never think that).

    I would tell myself not to worry it will go away with time and hard work. If not that’s why we have plastic surgery right? 

    I used to be so HOT. Really I was on the path of having a Kardashian body, my curves are kick’n. My skin was a beautiful canvas. My body was lean and fit.

    Then I realized something. My baby, my beautiful blessing from God did NOT ruin MY body. 

    In fact she improved MY body. You see this was her home for 39 weeks and 2 days. She left me a gift to always remember her by for when she grows up and leaves. 

    My beautiful “canvas” of skin I thought I had, was in fact a BLANK canvas….. 

    She painted her abstract art on mommy’s tummy. I will never forget when it started haha. It started around my belly button piercing and I swore it looked just like the playboy bunny sticker I used to put on me at the tanning bed. 

    A little over half way through my pregnancy Piper and I began to fight for the right side when sleeping. According to the ultrasounds she was always using my placenta as a “pillow”! Knowing her personality now I know this was true lol. With that said, a huge deep, wide, & vertical stretch mark developed. I thought it was funny and still do. 

    Then she got a little carried away, she demanded ice cream parties and mac n’ cheese which then inspired her to paint intricate lines all over me that look like the designs found when ice freezes. She’s like her momma for sure, always going full throttle. 

    Finally she put the icing on the cake by leaving me with a C Section scar, because she was TOO big to come out, lord knows she tried for hours though.

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    Now when I look in the mirror I hold my head high. I AM PROUD! I don’t want it to go away completely. I’m sure the fat bag will disappear, but I might have some loose skin & the scars will always remain. It’s a beautiful thing, it’s my PAINTED CANVAS. It tells a story, & it holds funny memories. It is my DAUGHTERS first home, it’s where her heart took its first beat, all because two people loved each other so much they needed more. We needed her.

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    STOP trying to hide your flaws! This world has brainwashed us all into trying to look like a airbrushed magazine cover. It’s an illusion it’s not real. 

REAL is us MOTHERS. 

REAL is our CHILDREN. 

REAL is our SCARS.

Be proud, Be strong, Be you! 

Love yourself.

Now go look in the mirror and find the story YOUR child painted on you. When he/she is older you can show them and share those memories. 

Love,

Jelly

P.S. I love you so much Roo, your are my bestfriend. All I do is & always will be for you my love.

 

copyright

© Jessica Collins alias Jelly Nicole and jellynicole.com 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jessica Collins alias Jelly Nicole and jellynicole.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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